This is the first time in ages that I’ve done a chatty post, in fact it might be the first time ever. But this is something I wanted to share.
To me, losing your virginity isn’t a big deal but I know that to a lot of people, especially girls, it can be. In my eyes virginity is a social construct which in the past was used to determine a women’s worth, but obviously in most western cultures this is an outdated view. That being said there is something different about your first time.
Obviously the concept is simple but the actual process can take a while to master. Therefore, chances are your first time isn’t going to be amazing. I suppose I was kind of lucky in the sense that the guy I lost mine to had some experience, he’d had multiple sexual partners and knew what he was doing. I feltlike this made it easier for me, but obviously I’ll never know cause you can only lose your virginity once. That being said I’ve also taken someone’s virginity and honestly it almost felt like I was experiencing it for the first time again, it was harder work and not quite as enjoyable as I felt there was pressure on me to perform, and to perform well.
Now I’m no seasoned pro when it comes to sex and am someone to turn to for actual sex tips, but I still feel like I have valuable advice to offer. And this is it:
Make sure you’re completely comfortable with the other person.
And this is why I say it: I don’t think the word elegant has ever or will ever be used to describe me. I don’t take myself too seriously and in what might be considered awkward situations I tend to laugh. And by this I mean I’ve struggled to undo shirt buttons or take off their belt, but rather than be embarrassed I’ve laughed and said “I can’t do this” or “can you give me a hand” and luckily the other person has always laughed along and helped me out.
But this extends past just undressing the other person, say it’s painful, or if you’re just not enjoying what’s happening then you need to be able to speak up and say something. And if you’re not completely comfortable with your partner then this could be extremely difficult to do.
The first time I had sex was with my boyfriend who I’d been with for around 2 months. We were both very similar in that we didn’t take ourselves seriously, this meant we were able to talk about having sex and be honest with each other during the act. This openness was something I valued immensely and I think it was what ensured my first time a good experience.
I would consider myself to be very liberal so sleeping with someone outside of a relationship is something I have done and would happily do again, however I made sure that the guy and I got on well and in doing so I feel as though it made everything run more smoothly. There were embarrassing moments which I probably wouldn’t tell other people (several of which involved the wrong hole, but I’ll leave that there) but in the moment I was able to say something and he adjusted and we carried on as though it hadn’t happened.
So yeah, even though I said that this was advice for losing your virginity I’d like to change that and just give it as general sex advice for anyone no matter how experienced you are. Although I’d say it’s especially important for the first time.